Still Craving Your Kiss
by Katt9966
Summary: Sometimes dreams are better than reality -- slash.


Title: - Still Craving Your Kiss

Author: - Katt

Rating: - R

Pairing: - McKay/Sheppard

Warnings: - Deathfic

Feedback: - Like it or loathe it let me know

Archive: - I'd be honoured

Disclaimer: - No infringement intended. "Dream A Little Dream Of Me" by "The Mamas and The Papas".

Author's Notes: - A response to Gemma's challenge – "Ok, this is like my favourite song ever..or one of them anywayz  
could someone please please write a fic based on this song?  
i would love you for ever and ever and ever and owe you bigtime..."

Still Craving Your Kiss

__

Stars shining bright above you

Night breezes seem to whisper "I love you"

Birds singing in the sycamore tree

Dream a little dream of me

Say "Night-ie night" and kiss me

Just hold me tight and tell me you'll miss me

While I'm alone and blue as can be

Dream a little dream of me."

John felt Rodney's body draped over his. Hot and solid, smooth skin and hard muscle. Rodney's mouth on his, swallowing his moans, as Rodney's hand slipped between their bodies, as his fingers brushed against the sensitive flesh of John's erection. His thumb lingering in lazy circles on the wet tip, before spreading John's pre-cum over his length. John gasped, nipping at Rodney's lower lip, as his lover closed his hand over both their cocks, slick and wanting. The delicious friction of his body against Rodney's. The steady stroking of Rodney's hand. The feel of lips and tongues, soft and wet, and hungry for each other. The pace quickening, the sound of Rodney moaning his pleasure low in his throat seemed to envelop John's entire world. Everything narrowing down to this moment, these sensations, these feelings. The delicious rush of fire and lust, pleasure and love, consuming him. Teetering on the edge, then falling, flying, as their warm essence spilled out between them.

Gasping for breath, John felt Rodney move his weight from where it lay draped on him. Feeling suddenly cold, bereft, as his lover moved away. John reached out for him, wanting to feel the comfort of the warmth and solidity, of the other man, but he found nothing – Rodney was gone.

__

"Stars fading but I linger on, dear

Still craving your kiss

I'm longing to linger till dawn, dear

Just saying this

Sweet dreams till sunbeams find you

Sweet dreams that leave all worries behind you

But in your dreams whatever they be

Dream a little dream of me."

Rodney was gone. For John it was as if a part of himself had been ripped away from him. It hurt, not just mentally, but as a physical pain. A deep ache that throbbed inside him, and made him feel sick.

His days spent reliving those agonising hours as he'd lost the man he loved drop by drop. The "peaceful explorers looking for trade" speech had failed to impress the xenophobic inhabitants of P36-424. Angry words, had given way to threats, and finally to weapons being drawn. The team had run. They'd nearly made it too. So close to the gate that they could see it, but cut off from it, it might as well have been a million miles away. John remembered the hope he'd felt when he'd spotted the cluster of rocks that formed a defensible position. All they'd had to do was make it there and wait for Weir to get worried enough by their silence to send the cavalry. It had been so simple – they'd just had to make it to the rocks.

Only Rodney hadn't made it. He could still hear the little grunt Rodney had made as the bullet had ripped through his stomach. John had wondered since if he'd really heard it that day, because of all the noise that had been going on around them. Deep down though he knew he had heard it, and he could remember the terror the small sound had elicited within him. He'd turned to see Rodney lying face down on the ground not moving, he'd made a move to go to him, ignoring the danger, seeing only his lover hurt and needing him. It was Ford who'd grabbed him from behind, wrong-footing him, and dragging him to safety.

The fear the Rodney was dead had threatened to overwhelm him, until he'd heard Teyla's shocked voice saying,

"He's alive."

Rodney had turned onto his side, facing them, his face twisted in pain, breath coming in gasped pants.

Then the hours had come that had nearly sent him insane. Their attackers hadn't finished Rodney off, they'd left him as bait, hoping John or the others would break cover to try and get to him.

So John had watched Rodney slowly dying, drop by drop. The crimson stain on his clothes growing, until the cloth could no longer absorb the moisture, and a glistening pool had begun to form on the hard earth beneath Rodney's body. John had watched as Rodney's fingers had scrabbled at the hard ground, ripping out his nails as he gouged out the earth in his pain. He'd watched the agony on Rodney's face as he'd slowly died, twisting his features until John barely recognised him. He'd listened to the groans of pain, suppressed between lips bitten bloody as Rodney had tried so hard to keep quiet.

Held back by Ford and Teyla there'd been nothing he could do but watch and listen, and pray Rodney would be able to hold on until they were rescued, and he could be gotten to Beckett.

Although John had known that Rodney needed to stay awake, he'd be a liar if he didn't admit that it had been a relief when shock and blood loss meant he'd passed out. At least he hadn't felt anymore pain. John had watched the rapid rise and fall of Rodney's chest. Until it had finally stilled a couple of minutes before Jumper 1 had come through the gate.

John could remember the smell most of all. The coppery tang of blood so sharp, filling the air so that he'd been able to taste it on his tongue – sometimes he still could. He'd tried to make Rodney wake up, stroking his face and calling his name, but he'd been too pale, too silent, too still. Rodney was gone.

John felt the familiar wetness on his cheeks as he remembered. He sniffed and turned over, pulling the blankets up over his head to blot out the growing light which came with the dawning of another day. Closing his eyes he let his mind drift, reaching out for sleep.

Awake he relived Rodney's death, asleep he relived Rodney's life. The life they'd shared, the love. John found he moved through his days in a dream, only coming alive at night, in his dreams, when he could be with Rodney again.

__

"Stars fading but I will linger on, dear

Still craving your kiss

I'm longing to linger till dawn, dear

Just saying this

Sweet dreams till sunbeams find you

Sweet dreams that leave all worries far behind you

But in your dreams whatever they be

Dream a little dream of me."


End file.
